Time to get organized

Ya know, I promised myself Nadine wouldn't stop me - sent her a letter backing out of our critique by mail thing, thought I was moving on . . . and what's happening, I haven't written a thing for two weeks!!!
I didn't even go to Wednesday critique yesterday - made a doctor appointment which interrupted that time slot - normally would have worked the doctor appointment around critique. In the back of my mind I keep thinking: what if she's right? - and then I kick myself for thinking that. So in the meantime, I'm entering Rich's memoir into his computer - editing and rewriting in places.
Tomorrow I will get back to Harry. And one of these days, I will sit down and read the book all the way through - to where I am. Judge for myself if I need more. I do this with other people's work all the time - maybe I'm terrified I'll find I need to add lots more and that's going to freak me out.

Adding a twist

Mailed the letter to Nadine Friday - she should have received it either Saturday or today. Have heard nothing from her - but doubt the silence will hold. She's not the suffer (sulk) in silence type. So we'll see - meantime . . . have figured out (I think) what my story twist will be at this stage of the book. Have established that Nick has visited The Secret Bookstore in Westbay numerous times in the past 10 days, but has only stopped at the B & B once. Katie discovers this when she stops at the bookstore to leave something with her mother. Sara (Katie's mother) doesn't tell her that Nick has inquired about a promise Harry made to her, lest Katie think Sara is meddling in her business, however we discover later that that's one of the reasons Nick stopped in the second time. Since then he's been using one of the computers at the bookstore to get into Harry's geneology search site. Harry gave him the password. Note: It occurred to me: why then, if he has the password, wouldn't he use a computer closer to home? Decided Harry has fixed it so the password only works on the bookstore computer.
Nick's curious about what Harry's been searching for.
While on the computer, Nick also does some research on realtors. He's thinking more and more about selling the B & B.
Am also thinking, the night of the Halloween party, someone approaches Nick about selling the B & B. Not sure which idea I'll go with yet.

Ahhh - sigh of relief

Sunday afternoon - Finishing the letter to Nadine has taken a huge weight off my shoulders. Feel 100% better and am ready to move forward once again. She has indeed been helpful at times however, weighing that against the destruction she also does wasn't worth trying to salvage this critique venture. I tried that once before (in January) - things improved for a while, then went back to her usual viciousness. Don't need it.
So now I need to pull a chapter or at least a scene together by Wednesday morning for chapter 17. Originally I had 17, 18, & 19 written, but reading them over, I now realize they go nowhere and actually add nothing. Will dump them in the "dead chapter " file and start fresh.

A new day, a new decision

Late Sat. night - Well, I let Nadine do it to me again. She has the ability to stop me cold, and the last time she did this years ago, I stopped writing on a very good book, and I've never gone back to it. I vowed I would never let her do that to me again. But . . . she did and I did!!! So after two days of doubting myself, feeling awful, I finally sat down and drafted a letter to her. I'll tweak it, and probably do some editing, but I intend to type it up and mail it along with her last chapter.
Essentially, I'm cutting bait. She doesn't critique, she shreds. It's been obvious for some time she doesn't like my book and that's okay, I don't really care, but at least critique fairly. And she doesn't, can't or whatever. So will tell her this is no longer working for me and why. Then I'm done with it. I've taken the high road for months, but it's become wearing.
Just making that decision has made me feel like a huge weight has been lifted.
Yeah - now I can get back to writing.

Have I hit a wall?

My worst fear is Nadine is right. Do I have enough story to carry the book for 22 more chapters? I need something big to happen about now. I need to establish some history about that house, Nick's ancestors? Harry's connection to it all.
I'm dumping the first chapter, starting with something new - how much of a trickledown effect will that have on the entire book.
The eternal question: why didn't I plan this out better?
Ugggggggggg!!!!

Revelation between the eyes

Thursday - May 13 afternoon - just ran off all chapters I have finished, sixteen of them, and did a word count - HELP - I don't write long chapters - they are generally from 1500 words to 3025 words - totaling it all up I come up with around 34,500 words! I need around 80,000. So that means I have to come up with around 46,000 more words, or around 22 more chapters.
God, I will never finish with this book. I figure even if I write a chapter a week from here on out I won't finish this book until about mid-October. I was hoping to finish by the end of August. Not going to happen if I maintain the same pace I'm keeping now. Am really going to have to buckle down!!!!

Wed's midnight thoughts in Thur's daylight

Thursday - May 13 - am rethinking my first chapter. As it stands, it's probably too slow, doesn't pull the reader in fast enough and, although it gives a picture of the premise, albeit somewhat blurred, it needs to be much stronger. I wrote that first chapter years ago. It's gone through numerous tweakings, even rewrites, but not a complete "dump and start over." I've revamped the rest of the book A LOT - added more characters, added more plot, subplot - two critique groups LOVE it - but again, they get to read it in fits and starts. Would (could) they catch the overall flow of the book?
In rereading my old chapters 15 - 19 - I'm dumping them. Nothing much happens. And I'm to a point where something dramatic, shocking, surprising, 90 degree turn thing, has to happen.
EEEEEkkkkkkkkk - pulling my hair!!! Writing is work!!!

May thoughts and wraps . . .

Wednesday's critique group met today - good group. Involved, committed, good writers striving to be great writers. Oncoming summer will bring spasmodic attendance for some because of vacations, travel etc. Read chap. 16 - was well received. Forging on to 17.